On Wednesday our Nonverbal class began to watch the movie Crash. It goes without saying that Crash is an intense movie, but before watching the bit that we saw on Wednesday, I did not really know how intense it was. I was thinking about what a baby I am when it comes to handling certain engrossing scenes. Like the scene in which the inappropriate policeman stops the “not white” couple on their way home from the dinner party, and then slimily feels up the wife. I literally felt like throwing up. When I am sitting in a cold stationary desk, the huge movie screen in front of me, and nobody to shield my eyes, cuddle with me, or grab my hand during those tough parts, I just want to disappear to some magical happy land far, far away.
However, I am tied to my desk by the desire to make it through the movie, to accomplish this uncomfortable feeling. Because by saying that I am unable to handle this movie is essentially saying that I cannot handle the issues of racism, class separation, and other touchy topics. Yes, there is a little bit of violence, but I’m not sure that excuses my disgust. I have been dealing with this same issue my whole life. Movies like Ben-Hur and Slumdog Millionaire give me trouble because of the raw truth that comes out of them. I know bad things happen in this world, but it is just easier to live in my own “la la land,” or actually go help a situation, than to have to watch them in a movie.