Is Marriage Going to Be the Death of Me?

In watching a movie like Why Did I Get Married, it is easy to be discouraged on the thought of getting married yourself. In fact, I would bet that after watching the sequel to the movie, which is now in theatres, anyone entertaining the idea of marriage would automatically step back and say, “Woah, maybe I’ll be okay riding the single train forever instead.”

 But our needs go much deeper than a dating relationship can provide. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, our lives will not be satisfied with just the basic needs such as food, shelter, and sleep, which are all things we can achieve on our own. Once those physiological and security levels have been met, we have social needs. These needs can be met by close friends, family, and romantic relationships. If our needs stopped here, than it would be fine to stay single and “date around” forever. However, we have the needs that Maslow calls self-esteem and self-actualization, which are the highest needs on the pyramid and therefore most difficult to obtain.

Self-esteem and self-actualization are something for which we should constantly strive. Although I am not married, I can deduct from observing others, mainly my parents, that when a mature loving relationship is at its best, there is the perfect environment for individual growth, and the meeting of these needs.

I had overwhelmingly negative thoughts about marriage and serious relationships after watching the Why Did I Get Married movies—there is no way I can do marriage. But it’s just a movie. Although there are many different ways of achieving those most difficult needs that Maslow names, marriage is one that I have observed as most rewarding.

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