As I switched off my desk lamp for the last time at CLA USA today my heart was flooded with a mixture of feelings. I am happy and proud to have completed the project, and I am sad to be leaving new friends I have made. But the greatest emotion I am feeling right now is fear. This job was a sense of security. It was not only a great experience, but it was also the driving income so that I could do all of my other fun side jobs like coach tennis, intern at D Magazine, and work with Bill, the book guy.
May is going to be a big month for me. I am planning on moving out of my parents’ house in May. My internship ends in May. Since I don’t think it wise to put all my eggs in one basket, I am constantly looking for job opportunities but, still to my surprise, there isn’t a line forming outside my door of people begging me to work for them. Weird, huh? 🙂 Everything needs to come together in May. No pressure.
Last month May seemed so far away, but the sound of “March” makes me feel like May is down set, ready to pounce on me, and here I am scared and jobless. As surprise car trouble occurs, gas prices skyrocket, and student loans persist to be paid each month, I realize that this “real world” thing is tough, and my parents assure me that it will get even tougher.
So as I say goodbye to one big security in my life, I am determined to take that fear and put it directly into the hands of God. I’m pretty sure that if I keep it to myself I will have a major panic attack or do something irrational and crazy. Yes, it is a much better idea to give it to God.
He’ll know just what to do.