death by kale

Before the wedding, I tried to occasionally eat healthy, or not eat at all, to lose weight. Unfortunately, between the stress of living away from friends and fiancé with my parents in the suburbs and commuting too far to a job I really didn’t enjoy, I maintained every extra pound I wished to shed. A couple of days before the wedding, nerves got to me and I slowed down my eating and stopped weighing and decided to assume I was as thin as I’d wanted to be for the wedding day.

Flash forward six months. I have gained five pounds of “happy weight” and cannot control my snacking, so I decided to do a cleanse, which is the very worst punishment for me since I can barely tolerate vegetables and that is all you’re allowed to drink for three straight days on the cleanse. Needless to say, I am dying, slowly and cruelly.

I would do just fine if the juices were all fruit-based and yummy. I could eat all the strawberries and pineapple and oranges that you could throw my way! But these juices are predominantly filled with tomatoes (I know, I know, tomatoes are fruits), carrots, cucumber, kale, and death.

So today, day two of my Roots Freshly Pressed Juices cleanse, I am sitting at my desk, trying not to throw up, yelling in my head, “MIND OVER MATTER, KATIE!”  and trying to visualize the end goal whilst I slam back the disgusting elixir and pray it turns into chocolate milk when it hits my tongue.

I realize I’m being such a baby. There are starving kids on the street who need these nutrients. I am paying for my lack of discipline and foolishness, and am so ready for another chance at eating properly and keeping my body as a temple, not a trash compactor.

Amen? Amen.

and so it goes,


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